Pressing on

Its been 5 weeks since the Fire. I wake up every weekend in a house that still doesn't seem like mine. Don't get me wrong I LOVE IT! It just doesn't seem like mine. Its not my things, there is no pictures of my past there is no little trinkets or decorations that I got for my 30th birthday, or from my trip to Paris, or things my friends or family gave me over the past 5 years. I get dressed in clothes every day that I feel like I have borrowed. For as much as I shop I didn't think clothes and shoes would be the hard part. Even my Tiffany's necklace that they saved is turning black again like it looked the day they got it out of the apartment.

They still have not allowed anyone to go in and see if they can save anything. I have 4 Rubbermaid containers I so wish they could get out just so I could have a few things that are "mine".

Ive reached my breaking point on dealing with it all. I want to be done with it. But as I'm fighting with insurance to get the last dime of my money I'm still working on itemized my belongings and waiting for a Fire report.

Saturdays are hard, These morning were spent with Sammy usually. I keep thinking about how much he so deserved this beautiful yard to run free and play in. I hate that I kept him cooped up in that apartment for over a year.

I enjoy thinking of him running around Heaven freely and the smiles he must bring to peoples faces with his craziness :)

I'm filled with sadness that consumes me everyday for my friends that went through is after the flood, for the people that just lost everything from the devastating tornado's, for anyone that will face this life altering situation.

I keep searching and wondering how I am going to be able to help the next person that goes though this?

I don't know what tomorrow looks like. But I keep praying for joy!